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Weaving the Web of Community: Project Report

I was a little nervous at first about the idea of mentoring freshmen students. But I was also very excited. I could remember last year when the tables were turned, and I was in their shoes. I realized that a lasting impression is made, and I wanted to make a positive one. I had prepared questions beforehand. I wanted to know why the students had written their papers. What point were they trying to get across? Who was their audience? When they walked into the classroom they had this intimidated look on their faces. Eventually everyone got comfortable.

As I was reading the student's paper, I noticed a commonality that I had seen in other papers written by freshmen. The same theme was applied. Words like strength, beauty, wealth, and honesty were used in all of the essays. Some of the students, mostly girls, strayed from the assignment and wrote about their idea of a perfect man as opposed to the qualities of a real man.

One class period when we met with Ms. Brandao's class, I was paired up with two young men. One of them hadn't even written his journal yet; the other one had a very boring and underdeveloped paper. I read their papers aloud to them. I noticed that they were disinterested. So then I realized that my attitude had to change. I was forced to use a different approach to communicate with them. I decided to ask them what kind of music they listened to. As I had expected, they answered rap. I spoke about the technique that rappers use in their music to keep their listeners interested. They felt what I was saying and decided to incorporate this into their writing.

When we reached a comfort zone, I asked them what opinions they had of their own papers. They expressed to me what point they were trying to get across in their essays. I steered them in the right direction by reminding them of who their audience is. I also spoke about the use of imagery and examples and how they can strengthen a piece. I didn't quite get to say everything that I wanted to, but I hope that they gained something from our meeting.

When it came time to comment on the papers, I realized that many of the students' ideas of what a real man was were very shallow. A lot of people seemed to think that the size of a man's wallet, the type of clothes he wears, and how many women he gets determine a man's worth. The 9th graders didn't seem to have put a lot of thought into their essays. They all named familiar people like Martin Luther King and Malcolm X as being real men. I think that everyone's essay would have been more interesting had they thought a little more deeply. They could have used men with more tangible qualities. Maybe they should have dug a little deeper by finding common men-fathers, teachers, uncles-with great qualities.

I think that the conferences that we had are going to aid in making their writing mature. I hope to see more stories and concrete examples in later writing. I would like to continue helping the freshmen with their writing, because I think a lot of them have potential to be great writers.

SAC student Diarra McCormick, center, conducts a writing conference with a 9th grade English student at McDonogh 35. (Click on the photo for an enlargement)